Some Broads shouldn't drive

I've lived in Los Angeles my entire life. Born and raised, but I didn't start really driving all over the place until I finally moved out of Westwood. The more and more I drive in LA, the angrier and more aggressive I become. The other day I was stuck in the worst traffic on 3rd st. in downtown LA coming home from work. Let's just say that my horn was in full effect and that I gave both my hands a work out from all the sign language I was using. I know I'm not exactly a warm and tender person, but I'm not completely evil. It's not like I hit children (yet) or laugh at poor people. You know people who do that are really evil. The scary thing is while I was sitting in my driver's seat that day I think I could have driven through a hospital nursery while chucking pennies at transient families if it got me home any faster.

About an hour ago I had my first real urge to get out of my car, approach another vehicle, and lay into some dumb, blond, oblivious mom. I mean in the past I've wanted to beat the shit out of stupid backwoods-babyrapers who cut me off on the freeway or run my car into the loose herpes-having Jezebels who won't let me merge, but these were mere fantasies. Sick fantasies, but come on we've all thought about hurting asshole drivers. But today, today I really just wanted to get out of my car and put down the pimp hand. I mean really she put a damper on my fine ass day.

So Vero, Lauren, Rajima and I were getting back to Westwood from a beautiful day of shopping in Silverlake. We came back and each had more than our fill of some tasty Indian food and dropped off Rajima to visit a friend. Now I was headed north on Westwood Blvd. and was about to make a left onto Strathmore. There are TWO turning lanes with which one may achieve this simple feat. There was the stupid, blonde, oblivious mom in her stupid ass station wagon Mercedes-Benz with her stupid ass probably pregnant at fifteen coked up daughter in the first (left) left turning lane and I was in the second of the turning lanes (the one on the right). Now rational, attentive human beings could see that two rather large, white left curving arrows painted on the asphalt below. But as we were both turning this wino cocksucker cuts into my lane nearly hitting my car. So I honked at her ass. Dumb cunt has the audacity to wave her finger at me from in her rear view mirror. "Well you infected twat face this is my fucking lane," were the word that seethed from my heart, "because you were in the left left turning lane so you go into second to last lane of the street we've turned into and I, seeing as how I was in the right left turning lane, go into the farthest right lane of this street, you dumb bitch." We came to the next stop light and as I watched her dirty finger wave I really wanted to get out of my car and break that damn finger right off. Don't get all condesending on me you worthless hooker. You were wrong. I was right. I should cut your throat in a church. Whew. Sorry about that friends. Just had to get that out. Anyways besides that small incident today has been going swimmingly and I look forward to tonight as our plans are to go drinking and look at boys.

Moral of the Blog: I should be the broad that is banned from driving. I should also probably attend some anger management classes.