Spoons

So you've probably played the card game "Spoons" before. But just so everyone's on the same page here's how this bitch goes down:

There are two main axioms upon which the game is played. 1) Try to make a hand of four of a kind, and 2) Don't be the only player with out a spoon. The game is actually played as follows: Take a deck of cards and pass out four cards to each players. If there are n players (forgive me, I'm taking the GRE in a week and I'm thinking in terms of the test nowadays), then take n - 1 "spoons" and place them at the center of the table or floor or whatever surface upon which you and your drunk ass friends are playing. For example: if there are 4 players then there should be 3 "spoons" (these "spoons" don't necessarily need to be spoons as Mel so wonderfully pointed out "But those are forks").

The dealer then starts the game by picking up a card from the remaining stack and decides whether or not to keep it or pass it along to the player to his left. If he doesn't want the card he places it face down to his left for the next player to have. If he does want it he must choose which of his original hand to "throw away" to the next player. The player to his left then picks up that same card and evaluates whether or not she want it and then passes a card along to the player on her left. So on and so forth. Now cards are getting passed around the circle starting with the dealer with each person desperately trying to catch four of a kind. The fun part about this part of the game is that none of the players have to wait on the slow ass person on their left to pick up the card that they've just slapped down. As long you're only holding four cards you are free to pick up the one that's just come to you to see if matches anything in your hand. Soon the group of players is involved in a Tropical Hurricane Armando-like whirlwind level 4 of card passing.

When a player finally does manage to make four of a kind, he or she takes a spoon from the middle. The rest of the players are now in a race to grab the remaining spoons. This is the more violent part of the game. If you're smart, you've been watching the spoons in the middle the whole time so you know when one has been taken. That's if you've been smart. If you've been not as smart you'll probably have to brawl with the other not so smart person who wasn't watching the spoons for the last one and still end up without a spoon because the other person managed to pry it out of your hand while she cussed you out and hit your face. The person left without a spoon is called " El Supremo Loser." And this is where the real fun begins. The person that made the four of a kind is the "I'm So Much Better Than You Because I'm The Winner." This person gets to make something up that "El Supremo Loser" must perform. It can be a set of jumping jacks, a shot, a attempt to touch the ceiling, a somersault, a washing of your face in the ice water from the beer chest, or a simple dance to the music for 5 seconds. After the "Exercise In Humiliation" is complete the game is reset and play starts all over again. At the end of this next game however the "El Supremo Loser" of the round must perform the first "Exercise In Humiliation" as well as a completely new "Exercise in Humiliation" that this round's "I'm So Much Better Than You Because I'm The Winner" makes up. With each following round the list of "Exercises In Humiliation" grows one longer.

So I hope you can see why this game is fun, because by the 5th or 6th round you're watching your friends not only take shots like their alcoholic asses do every other Saturday night, you also get to witness the wonders of drunken gymnastics (jump-tumbling combinations included), ice water facials, and your friends dancing in front of complete strangers ("Hey Ladies") who don't know you all are playing a fucked up game of cards. You get to watch them do these things... all in a row... several times... with something new added each time.

Just remember, if your throwing a party and it starts to drag, whip out some cards and start the game. But remember to watch those spoons, forks, pens, or whatever you're playing with because Maryrose said that water was COLD.